The Two of Us
On the first Tuesday evening in January, just as the calendar flipped to The Year of the Baby, Toph and I met on the couch at 8 p.m. for the season premier of The Biggest Loser (there, I said it, we’re watchers). We were probably situated in our ritualistic way for the show, doing something ironic like eating Ben and Jerry’s right out of the container. The whole scene, programming included, was familiar and mindless and predictable.
Then, in the middle of one of Jillian’s irritatingly prying personal explorations with a contestant (which prompt both of us to groan every episode, “Why do we watch this?”), Toph turned to me with wide, revelatory eyes and said, “before the end of this season, it won’t just be the two of us sitting here watching!” (Save it folks: I know we probably won’t see the end of the season because we’ll be so sleep deprived and distracted by dirty diapers that we’ll forget it’s Tuesday and the DVR will fill up too fast to record them all. And yeah, we know, watching TV is bad for babies.)
Flash forwards like these have been happening since July 2, 2009, stopping us in our tracks when we’re doing something ordinary and forcing upon us the reality that our world is about to become almost unrecognizable.
We’ve been The Two of Us since 1997, married since 2004. It’s hard to imagine it any other way. It almost seems pointless to try since the scenes we come up with are entirely speculative. Instead I’ve been focused on taking in these times of just Toph and Tara.
There are, though, two scenes I can’t stop picturing: when we walk out our front door, just the two of us, on the way to the hospital, and we walk through the front door a few days later, the two of us and our son or daughter.
Someone said I won’t be thinking of anything (but pain) as we leave for the hospital, but I’m acquainted with myself enough to know that even mid-contraction, I’ll be moved to take one last nostalgic look around at the surroundings of life as we’ve known them before we lock the door to the past behind us.
Before The Two of Us turns into The Three of Us.
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February 18th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
I vividly remember walking out of the house with Heath on the way to the hospital. We looked at each other and both commented on how the next time we were home, there would be three. We are so excited for you guys
February 19th, 2010 at 8:18 am
My husband was at work when my water broke, so we didn’t get to leave home together. Instead I took a cab solo, worrying with each new gush that I was damaging the back seat (and I didn’t tell the driver what was happening, either). That’s where *my* mind was in the early stages.
Good luck, Tara!
February 19th, 2010 at 10:33 am
I absolutely love this post. Made me tear up. So thrilled for you both. Congrats!
February 19th, 2010 at 10:47 am
I love it, too. And don’t worry, you WILL be able to keep watching the Biggest Loser until season’s end. Newborns sleep a LOT. You’ll just be cuddling a little sweet bundle instead of a cold carton of Ben & Jerry’s (though both would be ideal).
February 19th, 2010 at 4:59 pm
3:00 a.m. Water breaks. Remain amazingly calm as life changes forever. I have to admit to a little twinge of envy, as I sit here contemplating the whole college search with my 17-year old…
February 19th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
I wish I had reflected on this more at the time….now I look around and think how the hell did the 2 of us become the 4 of us!?
We left in a nervous flurry the first time– the 2nd time you would have thought we were leaving to run an errand! Jeff stopped at Dunkin Donuts on the way to the hospital…I’ll take a large coffee, a sesame bagel and another daughter please. Craziness! Good luck! 
February 19th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Water broke, went to hospital, cried on the way there because I was nervous. Turned out to be the best thing I ever did (and then did again, and will again!).
February 19th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
You just made me cry! Beautiful entry, as usual. I’d say the funniest part of our trip to meet Eliza was that we missed the entrance to the hospital and had to circle the block again. I was REALLY psyched when that happened.
February 19th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
Tara, you look beautiful! I’m so excited for you. Both times I remember a bit of fear but mostly excitement. After their arrival? Total bliss…
February 19th, 2010 at 5:01 pm
I had no time to reflect when, at 33 wks, I noticed that my normally active baby suddenly wasn’t so active. On doctor’s orders, I downed a king-size Milky Way bar on the way to the hospital in hopes that the baby just needed some sugar to wake up. Turns out that baby was fine but I was in labor. I delivered around 36 hrs later and can’t believe he’s 7 now!
P.S. I highly recommend packing early. Poor Peter brought half our house to the hospital because I was in no shape to give him guidance.
February 19th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
I remember both so vividly. Both times I was calm and in shock that I was soon going to meet my little baby. There really is nothing like it.
I keep thinking about you. Can’t wait to hear the news. You look great!
February 19th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
Oooooooooooooh! I was watching Felicity and Colin went to bed. Then I woke him up at, like 2am, and we drove to the hospital in the middle of the night.
Now my kids are very nearly taller than I am. Best wishes for a smooth and joyous delivery!
February 19th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
I totally remember that feeling. I also remember thinking I wonder how it is going to feel coming home with another addition to the family. It is very surreal moment. Thinking of you often – can’t wait for your little one to arrive.
February 19th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
The first time, my water broke first thing in the morning, Jerry was still asleep and I had to wake him. We calmly drove to the hospital where Ceara arrived 12 hours later. Second time, at my weekly visit the doc mentioned that I was 4 cm dilated and maybe I shouldn’t wait until I was hurting to head on over to the hospital. Went home, cooked a …
February 19th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
…HUGE breakfast and cleaned up while I waited for Jerry to get home. Dominick came 10 hours later. Third time, had contractions for several hours before finally went in. Audrey didn’t bother to arrive for another 19.5 hours though.
February 19th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Just remember to keep breathing and, in between contractions, savor the moment. You’re never more alive than when you’re giving birth.
All the best to you and Toph and you’re new arrival!
February 19th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
hahaha, love your post! we were very laid back about ellis coming into this world…..sat down on the couch at 8 to watch american idol, I sneezed, my water broke but was in total denial because it was two weeks before the due date……”the baby isn’t coming now, it’s not the due date!” after an hour of convincing myself I wasn’t in labor I decided to call out of work at Fork (yes I got to talk to Thien) because well……”I should probably take it easy from here on out” =). left for the hospital calm, cool and collected because first, we cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out and cleaned up alittle because we may or may not be back that night……just go with it, Toph will be your biggest advocate because that’s his job. Good luck, I’m so excited for you! it is reported that even advanced Alzheimer’s patients can recall their birth experiences. very powerful.
February 19th, 2010 at 5:04 pm
Went in for my last checkup before due date, frantically tried to reach Dave at work while being driven to hospital, came out 3 days later with Giuliana. She is still full of surprises 7 years later. John was much more routine. We picked the day, checked in around 6:30AM, had baby at 10:10, called Ellen from recovery around 11:30. Wishing you much happiness!
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:17 am
We had one false alarm after the doc sent me to the hospital at 40 weeks + 2 days but then the folks at the hospital sent me home. The following night Craig and I played chess, watched Law and Order episodes and religiously timed contractions for about 4 hours until we decided to call the doc and head to the hospital. By that time, it was 3 AM and the roads were empty – Beastie Boys on the radio, I recall. Super surreal! Took about 21 hours total for the little one to appear.
The day we came home from the hospital, though, our street was having a block party and we couldn’t get to our house. We had to take Emma to my parents’ house! Turned out to be the best thing ever – my mom got to take care of her baby while I was taking care of my baby (well, in my case I use the words “take care” very loosely… who the hell knows what she’s doing as a first time mom those first few days? Not I…) I have never in my life been more grateful for my mom’s parenting wisdom and experience! It took a village to raise a newborn that first couple of weeks… not just the two of us